Mandeta is the Malam Anugerah Pendeta for my college. I decided to wear a sari that day instead of my baju kurung. I really expect myself to be beautiful, but I’m really disappointed when I look at the mirror. Maybe ugly duckling really can’t turn into swan in an hour time.
The ball room is quite grand and majestic. By the time I reached there, the 1st thing I thought of is – Photo!! I wanted to take photo with all people that I knew. People are telling me that I look pretty and the Sari is beautiful. Then I started t doubt mine and other’s perception of beautiful. Then I finally got a conculsion after so long, which is: they are just surprise that I look different from what I look like normally. XD
The food’s propotion is too small for the vegetarians. I really cannot accept that. In addition that I do not have time to eat slowly! because of the Anugerah Tun Sri Lanang! I’m really afraid of this award. I’m too afraid to fail the other semester, what I mean by fail is not getting 4.0 CGPA. It is horribly stressful when I see the award setting on my table, as if it is telling me how horrible I am! I know this is just because I am so ‘kia su’!!They say I have to accept what happened, just have to change my thought, take away the ‘me’ or ‘I’ then I wont feel bad.
“Just dont give up, I’m working it out, please don’t give in, I won’t let you down. It messed me up, need a second to breath, just keep coming around. Hey, what do you want from me!!??”
-Adam Lambert
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